Allen Park — OK, let’s have the Joey Porter Jr. conversation.
I’m doing this, in large part, for my own sanity. The current rumors — if the chatter even qualifies as meeting that low bar — has quickly become the 2026 version of last year’s Maxx Crosby trade talk. Simply put, it’s inescapable.
After I publish an injury update.
“Hey, what are you hearing about the Lions trading for Joey Porter?”
Write an expansive film review from the previous game.
“Any truth to the Joey Porter rumors my cousin saw on Facebook?”
Make eye contact with a Lions fan walking down the street.
“Joey Porter?”
It’s like the seagulls from “Finding Nemo.” “Porter. Porter. Porter. Porter.”
As if the talk wasn’t loud enough, the dial on the amp was cranked to 11 after the Lions executed simple restructures for the contracts of Amon-Ra St. Brown and Penei Sewell late last week, clearing around $35 million in cap space for the 2026 season.
Look, I get it. Truly. Like Crosby a year ago, trading for Porter would be a big, splashy move that addresses Detroit’s most-obvious roster deficiency. There’s no denying the disgruntled Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback would be a significant upgrade to the current situation.
Let’s look at the boxes Porter checks.